I just came inside after tossing twinkle lights on the flowers and shrubs around the pool in my backyard. Anything that didn't move, got a strand of white, starry twinkling lights and the reflection on the swimming pool, was rather dazzling. To help illuminate the ambiance, what looked like a full moon to me, appeared to shine moon beams upon me as I went about my work. I must say the finished product was tastefully festive.
Tomorrow Night I will have the wonderful pleasure of welcoming my daughter, who is arriving from Manhattan and is going to spend a week with me. I just can't wait! It's only been slightly under 2 months since I told her goodbye from the Marriott in the Financial District, where I was staying, but I swear it feels like two years! I've missed her tons.
Of course, I am charged with having a steady supply of sweet iced tea at the ready. And, naturally, iced tea requires ice! After returning home from work yesterday, Stephanie and I went out on a mission to select a new compact refrigerator for my office. We saw several we liked, but not exactly the one I had in mind. Today, my father and I went out looking again and we found the PERFECT one. It's black, sleek and is made-to-order! So now we can have ice, cold fruit, chilled soft drinks AND iced tea.
Next Saturday, all of Katie's Vida friends, and a few others, will be convening at my home for a swimming/grilling/"Katie we're happy to see you!" party. In attendance will be many of my favorite friends and how much fun it will be to see everyone outside of a work environment. Everyone is bringing a dish or dessert, there will be music, hopefully not too many mosquito's and lots of laughter.
I must admit the timing couldn't be better. The party will fall one day before what would have been my one year anniversary, so this gathering will be extra-special and the perfect alternative to sitting around allowing my thoughts to take me back to a year ago when everything felt like it held so much promise, but in the end, was more illusion and built on a very precarious foundation.
Life goes on and how wonderful that it does! There are still moments when a wave of sadness washes over me and these past two weeks still feel so surreal at times, but mostly, I feel grateful and I know in my heart that this is the best decision. Of course, the best decisions don't always come easy or painless, but you have to make them to move forward in the direction that you know is right and true. I also take comfort in the blessing that the demise of this relationship happened now, rather than 3 or 5 or more years down the line. Facing this now will save all of us a lot of future turmoil and additional unhappiness.
So I have determined that this week will be positive, happy and I will celebrate that I have my daughter home for a week. It is precious - all of life is - and I don't want to squander my "now" by wasting time with regrets and thoughts of "what might have been". I am a realist at heart and I prefer dealing with facts and, the fact of the matter is, I am doing just fine. I am moving right along with my life, with determination, focus and the expectation of good things. Given the positive and upbeat parents that raised me, and my son and daughter, who relentlessly cheer me on, I know of no other way to approach this new chapter in my life.
I am choosing to take my cues from Emerson, who so wisely advised...
"Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense"
My spirit still remembers how to soar, and I've no interest in any more nonsense.
Tomorrow IS a new day.