05 February 2005

"Adventures with aviaries" will continue, but first..."A Canadian Summer Forecast" Update...

Today's Quote:
"Tigger is all right really," said Piglet lazily.
"Of course he is," said Christopher Robin.
"Everybody is really," said Pooh. "That's what I think," said Pooh.
"But I don't suppose I'm right," he said.
"Of course you are," said Christopher Robin."
'The Tao of Pooh' by Benjamin Hoff,
This just in...

To bring you up-to-speed on the burning question of "Just what day does summer occur in Canada?", I have heard from a few sources who seem to be in possession of some credibility? Credibility in the sense that they have never lied to be previously. Of course, I have never corresponded with them before, but that's not really important now, is it?

Kim E. , a self described "knadn_eh" , who is presently residing in the more temperate climes of the US, and fancies herself a "cross-border Ambassador", reports that summer actually comes-a-callin' in Oh Canada! "somewhere around" 22 July which, coincidentally or not, happens to be her mother's birthday. Oh wait, upon further inspection of Kim E.'s post, she is back-peddling just a bit and saying that summer actually hits, slams, gently brushes up against, one could say tickles, the great country of Canada "around" June. Kim, always leaving herself an "out", quickly qualifies this with, "It's been known to snow 2 hours north of Toronto on May 24th weekend" which, according to Kim, is THE BIG weekend in Canada. Probably due to preparations and pre-party meetings for her Mum's birthday which is somewhere "around" July 22nd, is what I'm thinking.

Now, in terms of "Just how long does it last?" and who among us doesn't want to know the answer to that burning question - oh wait, it's Canada we're speaking of just now, Kim informs me that Summer takes up residence until "about" , the 3rd week of August which again, coincidentally (or not?) is the first day of the Ex - or the Royal Canadian Exhibition. I don't know much about Canadian history, but apparently they become exhibitionistic somewhere 'round the 3rd week of August...I'm not sure what the"ex" means that Kim so surreptitiously inserted there...a hint I'm thinking...some kind of clue, but that's HER story and apparently she's sticking to it because she hasn't removed or amended her post from my GUEST BOOK. If that doesn't scream "you can take it to the bank", then I don't know what does.

Canadians are a very reliable and far advanced bunch. I still shake my head in sheer wonder as I contemplate the multi-tasker that is Julianna Banana, and how at such a tender age she is able to maintain and update her website, do a lot of chores both inside and out of the house , fight a rather formidable disease, mingle with all manner of celebrities and still find the time, on those rare moments off, to be a kid. Am I to believe she's an average Canadian? I really must visit this country.

Kim E., was also generous enough to offer information as to the best places to visit "(besides Winnipeg, of course!). Apparently Ms. E has some connections, or maybe gets kickbacks or "referral fees", for providing an "in" with some folk on the Georgian Bay which she goes on to explain to those not in the know, such as yours truly, that this Georgian Bay she speaks of is "way-North for those at the border!)".

Kim, just so you know, I am writing this from south, south, south of the border, but not down Mexico way...though I did at one time in my life reside in four different cities in Texas (not at the same time, of course). I haven't really thought of North Carolina as the "deep south" on second thought - it's all relative, isn't it? To those folk on the Georgian Bay who send you checks for luring unsuspecting blond American citizens (Canada must have heard a few dumb blond jokes, eh?), check out this handy map for a quick American lesson in geography, and the distance I'm going to have to close to visit those folk you speak of; North Carolina - Georgian Bay.

That's a LOT of real estate. Though I actually live in Wilmington, NC,
it was just easier to mark the distance from Raleigh to Ontario. Raleigh, as we all know, is a pretty famous place because it's the big city where Deputy Barney Fife (AKA Don Knotts), used to visit when taking some time off from the rigors and madness of keeping things in Mayberry in order. Barney would always stay in the same deluxe accommodation: corner room at the YMCA. You can't say the man didn't have class.

But back to my topic which was "WDDSOIC" or, if you're just joining us, What Day Does Summer Occur in Canada? To further elaborate on this inquiry, just this morning I received a note from, let's call s/he "anonymous which works out perfectly since that's exactly how s/he signed his/her comment submission. According to "anonymous", "generally it's Tuesday, often a Tuesday in July. However, it does tend to move around a little so you might wish to pack up your wool leggings, heavy parka, moon boots, mittens and cap and visit for a week in July hoping, just hoping beyond hope, to hit the day. Does this help?"

As a matter of fact, Ms./Mr. Anonymous, if that's your real name, it does help. It helped me come to the realization that I may never be able to visit the glory that is Oh Canada!, because I don't possess any of those articles of clothing that you mentioned and with the way my budget currently doesn't exist because there's not enough money to actually merit a budget, I will be quite retired and decrepit by the time I may...and I stress "MAY", have enough funds to buy the apparel required to visit any location North of Cleveland. This has been difficult for me to accept and, just to make sure, I again logged onto my bank statement and was met with an error code that said "blank statement". I didn't take this as a good sign. Clearly, I need to get the book I am currently writing published because there may be the off chance that I could possibly visit Oh Canada! on a book tour. Does anyone know how to contact Oprah? Feel free to write on my behalf.

So what does all this really mean? I have no idea, but I did find this site interesting and helpful! Apparently the Canadian summer is a fragile, mercurial and sometimes elusive animal. I do want to visit the great North someday, so perhaps that is what is behind my quest for discovering the days of summer, but now this whole wardrobe thing has me a bit disturbed (more so than my usual state of routine disturbance). I suppose I could start a "Send me to Canada Fund", but again, I'd like to get there while I'm still ambulatory and unaided by a walker. Plus, with folks like the lovely Julianna Banana, Kim E. and this mysterious "anonymous" comment poster, I'm all the more curious.

Back to work for me. I have a book to work on, an aviary update to write, and I'm about to be a grandmother at the tender age of 44, well, I guess by the time I'm a grandmother I will be 45 because Sunday, February 6th, I will be hitting the big 45. I remember not so long ago when I thought that anyone past the age of 40 was ancient. I stopped feeling that way a few days prior to turning 40. I'm slowly beginning to think that 50 is early middle age. I always laugh and feel the urge to punch people who say, "You're turning 45? Of course that's not old! Don't you know that age is just a number?". The people who always say that are usually a good ten to fifteen years younger than me and apparently see the fear in my eyes and the wrinkles that are no doubt forming around them. Oh bother...as Winnie-the-Pooh would say who, I do believe, is Canadian himself?

You gotta ask yourself, are you "Pink Bracelet Worthy" and A Burning Question With Regard to "Oh Canada!"

Being a writer, I guess you could say I'm a little on the curious side. Recently, I asked someone in the great far North a simple question and I got a threat in return! Perhaps, if I ask this simple question in a more public forum, I might get an actual, you know, answer. I have been advised that in the part of the world known as "Oh Canada!", this is "National Why Don't We Live In Florida" Month. I used to live in Ft. Lauderdale/Miami and it's true, I remember the influx of snow birds and I made some pretty cool friends because they were observing this important period of their calendar. OK, so I did see a few Canadians in undersized Speedos and thongs but never anything that resembled the WWII Normandy Beach Landing...not at all. Canadians rock and who among us south of the border, isn't a sucker for the accent, eh?

Well, I USED to think they were an ultra cool lot, until I asked a certain Canadian who lives in an area that I believe is somewhere between Winnipeg (what a cute name!) and the North Pole. This person even has a website and if you're extra curious, and you really should do yourself and check out this site;CaringBridge.org - julianna. Having said that, being the professional writer and adult that I am (I can hear the laughter - don't think I can't - I know who you are...), I will not name any names, I'll simply restate the question that has YET to be answered...


I kind of need to know. Anyone having any information on this question, I would be profoundly grateful if s/he would E-mail and let me in on what I'm starting to wonder is a state secret.

If you do visit Miss Julianna's site, you might want to consider induction into the ultra-exclusive "SPWUBBA WUBBA" AKA Secret Society of Pink Wish Bracelet Wearers, pronounced "spwubba-wubba". There's even a secret handshake, but I can't go any further and I've probably said too much as it is...putting my precious membership in jeopardy.

I don't mean to brag, but I was inducted into this super cool club in August 2004 (it's on my resume). Of course, this includes a formal portrait to be taken, which will be posted on "The Banana Bracelet Pink Wall of Fame" which can be accessed here, Julianna Banana, and let me tell you, I'm not the ONLY celebrity on that wall of fame. A few lesser knowns include Hilary Duff, the "Trading Spaces Gang" including "Designer Doug", Paige, Ty (who I really WISH would redo my house - talk about a challenging project...The fact that he's not called only reconfirms for me that there are some things even the "Trading Spaces" folks are afraid to tackle - what a bunch of lightweights...(I'm not so subtly laying down the gauntlet), and oh yeah...oh, oh, yeah...I have to agree with Julianna Banana's Mom on the wonder that is "Carpenter Carter". If you check out the page, you will also see William, who is the voice of "Bob the Builder" sports his own pink wish bracelet, and those are only a FEW of the glitterati set up for your viewing pleasure.

And folks, there's absolutely no catch. All you have to do is send a SASE

Obviously the vetting process can't be too stringent - After all, they let me in.

I just keep hoping that someone will answer my question. I love to travel and I'd love to see Canada on the day they call summer...any information would be most appreciated.