Indeed, it was a week brimming with lots of things to smile about. Today wrapped up Katie's visit, and what a fine week it was. I think we squeezed just about as much fun and activity as anyone could from seven precious days.
All too soon, it was time to take Katie to Fayetteville to catch Amtrack, the train which is now taking her back to her new "home" in Manhattan.
What a change this evening was from the experience of saying goodbye to her when I left her in Manhattan on May 17th. I can't remember crying as hard as I did on that lonely day at the hotel we were staying at and I can't recall feeling more alone. It was worse than being alone. The only word I can use to describe it was feeling bereft. I wasn't alone on the return trip to Wilmington that painful day, but I might as well have been.
Tonight, when it was time to hug goodbye, of course I was sad to see her leave, but what a difference two months and completely different circumstances make! There were no tears, no feeling of "aloneness" or the horribly empty ache in the pit of my stomach. The lingering bleakness that I felt on the flight home back in May, was blessedly missing as we made our way back to Wilmington. I felt more in control, my life feels so much more manageable and I truly do feel like I am on the right path. I made a painful course correction, but it needed to be made in order to move forward.
Rather than bemoan the reality that Katie is NYC bound, I am grateful that she is happy, filled with joy and eager to see her incredible boyfriend. I am so thrilled for her, for both of them, in fact, because I have a sneaking suspicion that John is as anxious to have her home as she is to get there. What a wonderful feeling that is. How could I wish for anything less than her happiness? John has all of my respect and admiration. Katie has all of my love.
Thank you for a wonderful week, my dear. John, thanks for sharing this sprite with me.
Katie, your love and support, along with so many others, has made these past few challenging weeks so much easier to handle. Your sardonic, deliciously dark sense of humor made yesterday, what could have been a really difficult time, a downright fun day with new memories that are precious and sweet to recall.
Next month will find Katie's father, Tim, Justin and Stephanie, experiencing NYC for the first time and how much fun that will be for them! Katie should be rolling back into town some time in October and as for me, I need to come up with a good excuse, as if I needed a better one than I already have, to make it up to Manhattan at some point in September. It is so fantastic to have something wonderful to look forward to.
A tale of two goodbyes...
Tonight, I looked at a photo of the angst-ridden, sad "me" who told Katie goodbye on May 17 and the "me" who told Katie goodbye this evening. I completely recall that May 17th photo and I remember the pain and discontent swirling around inside of me; few times I can remember feeling so much despair. The photo taken tonight barely looks like the same person and, though it was a heckuva tumultuous two months, it had to happen or, as they say in AA - it took what it took. Not only did my watch start ticking, but I swear someone turned on the lights, opened the shades and finally allowed the sunshine to wash over everything.
17 May 2006
17 July 2006
It's stunning how beautiful everything looks after a storm. Life is an exquisite adventure.
It's a brand new day.