Today, work was a really bad rollercoaster ride. No question, this was a frustrating day and it only got more daunting as the day wore on but somewhere around 3:00 PM, a delivery man came through the door armed with a beautiful bouquet of daisies and a box of chocolates. I was sure that I knew when everyone's birthday was and wondered who was getting a treat and why. I was quite surprised to discover these flowers and chocolates were for me. I was even more stunned to discover they were a stunning gift from someone in the UK. (Thank you Mr. N!)Three years ago tonight, I took my last drink and, like the crazy blond I am, I did it with style or, so I'm told. I don't really remember that much about the evening. I'm kind of grateful that I don't. Tomorrow will mark three years of sobriety but, more than anything, it's three years of a "new and improved" life. It can't be overstated that the events of three years ago tonight, without one doubt in my mind, literally saved my life.
Life since 12 January 2004 hasn't been without mistakes, goofs and a few unbelievably stupid moves - I've made a few really questionable choices and I've definitely done some very silly things. But if you took every stupid thing I've done in the past three years and lumped them together, as long as what I've done has NOT included a glass of wine, I'm still be ahead of the game compared with where I was three years ago at this moment.
I'm sure there are a ton of mistakes in my future, and there will be things I do in the short term that, a few years from now, will probably cause me to shake my head and wonder, "What was I thinking?", but as long as those mistakes don't go by the name of "Merlot", "Shiraz" and "Pinot Grigio", I'll be fine, as will the mailboxes in my neighborhood.
Even after a really exasperating day, I honestly feel pretty good about life in general. The fact that a friend across the pond took the time to send good wishes in such a beautiful way, well, it would simply be wrong to complain. I have to say that overall, it's been a fascinating three years and, I'm happy to report that it turns out I never required alcohol to be silly and laugh at inappropriate moments. I guess some things just come naturally to me.A huge word of thanks to the old friends who have stood by me these 36 months, and the new pals I've made along the way - people who have most definitely made my life much more interesting and crazy (Yes Vanessa, this means you! You too, Stephanie!).
I must say a heartfelt thanks for the steadfast love of my precious "not so little" kids, Katie and Justin, and my fantastic parents. I wouldn't be here without their love and unwavering belief in me - their conviction that I would be fine. When things got too serious and scary, they somehow made me laugh - even when I didn't think I could. My family, all four of them, literally loved me back to health. They really have loved me through all of the moments that have made up these past three years. I want them to know that I love them right back.
And of course, most of all, I really do have to thank God. God truly is the only reason that I am sitting here tonight, hands flying across the keyboard with a million thoughts coursing through my mind and a smile on my face. I'm not at all sure why I was given the chance to stick around, but I am so far beyond ecstatic that I was and trust me, I mean to make the most of it!
Blessings...in the past three years that word has taken on a very serious meaning for me. I find that I no longer cast that word about lightly. I really don't. In the past 3 years, I've been granted countless manifestations of that word. If you're reading this blog entry, there's a very good chance you may be one of them. (Unless, of course, you're one of the very few people I just can't stand and, fortunately, I can count those people on one hand. I'm sure they know who they are and surely they wouldn't be reading this in the first place. :-)
So as I lift my glass of unsweetened iced ginger lemon tea, I can only say a hearty, happy CHEERS!...from the bottom of my heart.
Here's to another dizzy year of unpredictable and zany sobriety. One day at a time, of course.
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