I Miss You Daddy...Thoughts of Saturday Mornings, Warm Coffee and Pipe Tobacco

Before dementia began eroding my parents' lives, and even after it began, every single Saturday Morning I would run downstairs, my Mom would be in the kitchen trying to figure out how to put cereal in the bowl but not wanting any help, and I would pour two large mugs of coffee with just a tad of cream, place it on a pewter serving tray that a coal mining executive had given my dad decades earlier, and slip into my parents bedroom. It was usually about 10:30 or 11:00 am, and my dad would be sound asleep. I'd put the tray down, run over to his desk and fill his favorite pipe with the proper amount of tobacco (I learned this from an early age), grab his lighter and then gently scoot in beside him and say, "hey, are you going to sleep all day?". After a few seconds he'd wake up, slowly open his eyes and I'd be holding his mug of coffee. A smile would light up his face. "Well, look at this - room service!! I love you, honey!". We'd settle in and I'd prop him up in bed with several pillows, by now either Sailor or Cleo would be on the bed along with us, and I'd hand my dad his pipe which he would promptly light and another smile would break out as he took possession of his coffee. "Mmmmmmm...now this is good.".

This became our Saturday and Sunday Morning ritual. After dad was awake enough to draw on his pipe and sip his coffee, he'd begin regaling me with tales...stories I'd heard countless times but with his Jimmy Stewart-esque delivery, I never ever got tired of hearing them. He'd tell me about the time his family moved from Itmann to Keyrock, and how his brothers, Otis and Dick were in charge of walking with their cow, "Old Pet", through the mountains to their new residence and how, when the rest of the family had settled into their new house for the night, his Mom and Dad were getting visibly concerned because Dick and Otis hadn't arrived yet. FINALLY, they arrived just as darkness was falling and the family was reunited. Or maybe he'd tell me about the times he had to "sit up all night with dead", a practice that was common back in the 1930's - 1950's in southern WV. "What in the world would you do, Daddy?", I'd ask every single time. "Well, we ate a LOT of food and situated our chairs around the coffin that was usually in the living room or dining room. We'd tell stories and try not to nod off!". I'd ask him, "why did people do that? what were they expecting to happen?". He'd laugh and say, "I don't know honey, it was just something we did...out of respect.". But he added, "oh sometimes we'd get to telling stories and laugh and have a good time!". I would smile because I knew if my Dad was in the middle of it, it had to be an entertaining evening.

Sometimes he'd tell me stories about his time in the US Navy...lots of funny stories and a few that would break my heart no matter how many times I heard them. Then, as I often did, we'd bring it back to the 1960's and I'd pull out a diary from, say, 1966 and the first time we vacationed at Wrightsville Beach and the little cottage we rented facing the Sound. He'd always vividly describe my eyes when I first saw the ocean - how mesmerized I was - "You LOVED it! Right away! You never wanted to leave!" and then, we'd marvel at how we lived just a few short miles from that spot and how much history had passed between us.

I now look back at those Saturday Mornings and I swear I can almost smell his pipe and see the steam coming up from those special cups of coffee. He'd throw his arm around me and always, always we finished up with a hug and he'd look me straight in the eye and say, "thank you for taking such good care of your old Mom and Dad". I drop tears when I remember those golden moments, but I smile as well.

When you're in the middle of such moments, on some level you know they won't last forever, but you can't and must not dwell too much on that because it will take away from the present, from the magic of it all. I never really allowed myself to consider that this wouldn't go on forever, even though intellectually I knew that it could not.

On this day before Father's Day, I look around my bedroom and I have a large bookcase next to the secretary that my parents bought around the same time I arrived on the scene. In the bookcase is every single volume of my Dad's diaries; forty-seven years of our shared lives are in those handwritten books. I haven't read all of them - but I look over at them and I feel my Daddy right here with me. Every word he wrote was deliberate and a tangible legacy of the lives we were blessed to share together.

My Dad was simply the quintessential perfect father - the guy you would surreptitiously connive with to get Mom to agree to something she wouldn't normally acquiesce. The man you could confidently share your dreams and also your deepest fears with in complete safety and without any fear of being made to feel silly or ridiculous. He was the comforting hug as I went through a divorce, the stalwart cheerleader when I acknowledged that it was time for me to get sober, the champion who always figured out a solution to a situation that perplexed me and the guy who made me believe I was so much more courageous, stronger and smarter than I would often feel. He became that voice that challenged me to step up to the plate, no matter what it was, and congratulate me when I did - whether it was finally leaping off a diving board when I was ten years old, or the night before major surgery when I was 34 years old or right before an interview for a job I really wanted. In my eyes, he was as close to the "perfect father" I could ever imagine - a fount of love, encouragement, understanding, humor and delicious mischief!!

Daddy, this is my second Father's Day without you and even though I miss you as much as I did in the hours after you left this earth, I'm so GRATEFUL for the stock of memories you left me with. I feel your direction, hear your voice and honestly am aware of your presence every single day and what an amazing gift that is!! I miss our Saturday Morning coffee klatches but my gosh, weren't we incredibly blessed to have so many of them?? I know that's what YOU'D say because you always spun grief into gratitude - and I'm learning to do the very same thing. Thank you for being the most incredible father anyone could ever hope to have and for loving and providing for our family through everything. I personally hope you're sipping a cup of hot coffee, drawing on your pipe packed "just right" with your favorite tobacco and holding my Mom's hand because if you are doing those things, then I know you are happy and content.

I love you, I love you, I love you...always and forever.

The Green Mile...

"And I think about all of us, walking our own 'Green Mile'...Sometimes, the 'Green Mile' seems so long..."

To my closest confidants, I sometimes admit to feeling extreme anxiety when I first wake up each morning. I'm afraid of what I'll find. My parents are 90 and 91 and dependent on me for almost everything.

When I was a little girl, I used to live in a state of extreme fear because my Mom and Dad were a good ten years older than my classmates parents. My Mom had me at the age of 35 which, isn't anything close to rare, but certainly qualified them as older than the average age of most of the other parents I knew. I would lie in bed at night, scared that my Mom and Dad would die much sooner than most of those other parents of my classmates and this was a particular fear after 1973, following the sudden, unexpected death of my 23 year old sister, Becky. Her death was followed less than two years later by my 83 year old grandmother who had lived with our family from the time I was in first grade. As far as I could tell, my family members were dropping like flies and my response to this was extreme fear and multiple panic attacks. I lived a very fearful existence, just waiting for someone else near and dear to me to suddenly disappear from my life.

Obviously, this didn't happen - my parents have, in fact, outlived many of my former classmates parents.

I no longer lie in bed and fear the inevitable in the same way I did when I was 10 or 12 or 14 years old, but I know how my own movie ends. Death is non-negotiable for all of us.

When I hear the first stirrings of my Mom's walker in the morning or the clop of my Dad's cane, I'm instantly relieved and then in the very next seconds I gear up for another episode of "Groundhog Day", because frankly, this is exactly what my life is like right now. Every day I answer the same questions about 40 times (no exaggeration) and sometimes I must identify myself. The weather becomes a particularly hot topic because in the span of an hour at the breakfast table, my Mom will ask me, even with the weather on the kitchen television being broadcast in real time, "what's the weather going to be today?". Sometimes I direct her attention to the television set which she'll watch eagerly for maybe 2 minutes and then, as soon as a commercial comes on, she asks me again, and again, and again "what's the weather going to be today? Is it going to snow?".

Cloudy, cold days are the worst. Not only does the pain my Mom experiences in her joints increase as the temperature slides down, but her whole affect is much less amiable and cheery.

Today is the first day of March. I heard my mother remark earlier today that it's "looking like fall". There is no real grasp of time and space for her. I'm not sure if that's true for my Dad because his almost total deafness and inability to carry on a conversation unbroken by "what did you say?" makes small talk an impossibility. I hate speaking in a loud voice and while I made a good go of it the first year and a half, I must confess I no longer do. It becomes very hard. That doesn't stop my Mom - from anywhere in this house one can hear her repeating the same question or comment up to 10 - 15 times, directed at my Dad. Most of the time whatever it is she's saying gets lost in the yelling and given her own abbreviated attention span, more often than not she forgets what her original point was when she began.

Schedules become essential and one tangles with them at a risk. If I serve dinner an hour or so early - say at 4 rather than 5:30 PM,  I'll often hear the click-clack of my mother's walker heading to the kitchen, asking me what we're having for dinner tonight? When I remind her that she ate just a short time earlier, she regards me with a quasi suspicious and embarrassed look. Not quite believing me and embarrassed that I might be right.

Last night I was watching "A River Runs Through It" after I served my parents dinner. About an hour after they had finished, I heard my mother tell (yell) for my Dad to be sure and check the doors. As I was sitting in the living room which is situated right next to their room, I heard my Dad's footsteps and waited for him to "peek" into the living room. I told him all the doors were locked and everything was safe. He gave me a nod and then proceeded to walk to the side door, the door leading to the garage and the sliding glass door in the dining room. I guess he didn't believe me - this is his routine. I smiled to myself and continued watching the movie.

A few minutes later, my Dad appeared again in the living room - "Your mother said she heard some people talking in here and wanted me to check.".

"Dad, it's the television - I'm watching a movie. No one else is here."

He nodded and headed back to their room with the message.

Not fifteen minutes later, my Dad reappeared in the doorway of the living room. "Your Mom keeps saying someone else is in here."

I pretty much gave up watching the movie by this point. I walked with him back to their room and told my mother personally that there is no one in the house but the three of us, as it is most days and nights. I told her I had been watching a movie.

Not ten minutes later, their bedroom door opened yet again - it was at this time I believe I looked over toward Cleo and said, "I'm going to stab my eye with a fork!!".

"Did you lock the doors?"

"Yes Dad - everything is locked up tight."

"Just checking. Your Mom wanted me to make sure," so again he makes the rounds until I seriously find myself unable to sit still and I walk up to him, gently put my hand in his and tell him he's done this already tonight. The house is locked up. No one else is the house. It's time for bed.

Meanwhile, I go outside and make about fifteen revolutions around the pool and I do this for two reasons. To shake off the irritation and the rote quality of this and every evening for the past couple of years, and to drive up the steps on my Fitbit. I accomplish both goals in about twenty minutes.

Every single day is both the same and different. The routine is the same but cognition and mental status seem to degrade just a little more. It's sort of like watching paint dry, but it makes me very sad. The intangible loss, the deficits, will break your heart.

I drink a lot of hot tea in the evenings. I build a fire in the wood stove almost every single night and I have an alarm set on my iPhone set for 7:45 PM so that I can listen to the BBC 4 Shipping Forecast. I pull up the maps on my computer and follow along as I listen to the forecast for the gales that are expected at Trafalgar and Biscay, and then I close my eyes and imagine myself bobbing in the small teak cabin aboard a sailboat, holding a mug of hot, steaming tea, tethered to some marina off the Isle of Man, wondering if I'll be able to cast off my lines and head back out to sea. No matter what I'm doing, I listen to that forecast and I visualize that scene. It's a mental image that gets me through another evening after another day of heavy repetition.

Headline News...

OK, this will be quick because I'm tired and ready to hit the bed but these have been some busy times in the Cook/Parker Home.

Here's the scoop! (Pssst...there are some new photos on the flickr site - click on the moving pictures on the right sidebar).

Someone became engaged in this family and for once, it wasn't me! Last Friday (18 July) Justin presented Stephanie with a ROCK and she said YES!

We welcomed and enjoyed company from West Virginia on Tuesday and Wednesday.

I just returned from The Pilot House in downtown Wilmington and a lovely engagement/farewell dinner hosted by Stephanie's lovely grandmother. She and I have made plans to get together after next weekend, following the kids' move, so we can cry and miss them together. They haven't even left yet and I already miss my son. I fought back tears a couple of times tonight.

My Mom is on the mend, but let me tell you, that fall left her with some serious bruises and after seeing the latent bruises I can only imagine she has bones made of steel. What a feisty lady she is. How blessed we are she bounced back.

I'll write more later, but for now, I am ready for sleep. These are busy, emotional, heart-tugging days. We're so excited for Justin and his new adventure working with his father in West Virginia, but we're all going to miss him tons.

I'll fill in the blanks this weekend.

Update: Exploring Options and Relying on God-Inspired Wisdom

First of all, thanks to so many of you for the messages of love, compassion and well-wishes with regard to the current issues we're facing with my Mom's health at this time.

I want to say a particular thank you to Karen G. in the beautiful state of Washington. I feel she's a kindred spirit for so many reasons. She's been through some challenges in her own right. If you would like to know more about Karen, and I believe it would be time well spent, you can visit her blog with a simple click of the mouse: Karen's blog.

I, myself, am a faithful reader and not only is she beautiful, but her grace with words inspire me, compels me to think in different directions and consider facets that would probably never cross my mind otherwise. Time spent on Karen's blog is time well spent and you should do something nice and treat yourself to a peek inside of her blog and, even more pointedly and delicate, her soul. Thank you Karen for your poignant supportive comments and I feel your good wishes even though we live on different sides of the country. This lady feels like a kindred spirit to me. I feel blessed that I stumbled into her on this tangled web we read.

Also, special thanks to Michel in Nantes, France (that's a photo of Michel holding his first granddaughter - the lovely Pauline) who is, without question, one of my mother's biggest fans. They have been buddies since his first visit to their home in Pembroke Pines over eleven years ago. Michel has called and also left a heartfelt comment that warmed my heart and pleased my Mom, even though I got sorely chastised for even mentioning her health! Hey, I'm too old to be grounded and I think I can outrun her, though I'm not certain about that.

My mother isn't well versed in being taken care of, but she could write the book on taking care of others. She's practiced nurturing her entire life. She's spent her life making things easier for everyone else and she's going to have to figure out how to accept people doting on her just a bit. She's the most fiercely independent woman I have ever met with a solid, untarnished heart of pure gold.

Spinal Stenosis

We went to the doctor today for a consultation with her primary care physician. He gave us the facts, the MRI report and made a case for spinal surgery. He kept reiterating that my mother is a "very young 84" and that when she gets to be 90, she may well wish she had endured this surgery. There are no guarantees of success, so it was at this point that I asked him what he would suggest if this were his own mother we were talking about (operating under the assumption that he has a very nice relationship with his mother!).

He said he would highly recommend it, after a more thorough assessment of her heart was performed because, well, this is major surgery we're talking about. Basically, the problem is that my mother's spine is degenerating and the pain and increasing numbness this is causing her has become more intense and difficult to handle. There are nights when she sleeps in the recliner, yet she's always the first up one in the morning with the coffee going and breakfast at the ready. However, constant, sometimes excruciating pain scrambles with one's quality of life. There's no question about that. She's finding it harder to do many of the things she loves to do. This woman is NOT a complainer, but there's no denying that she's finding it much more difficult to walk, or even navigate the step down into the living room.

We had a very thorough, candid discussion with the doctor and he fielded our questions in an unhurried manner, offering his opinion and discussing both the pros and cons to a surgical intervention. We also spent some time addressing her current pain and what other options we might have to contain it without making her drowsy and tired. After much discussion, he recommended we begin with a low-dose fentanyl patch which would deliver relief in a more consistent manner and after a few days, any drowsiness should dissipate as her body adjusts. He also said we may have to consider stronger narcotics such as methadone and morphine because, as he reiterated, her spinal degeneration is progressive and, although it may stabilize for a time, it's never going to reverse. The damage that has been done, the compression of the discs on the nerves in her spinal column isn't going to spontaneously reverse, though I really wish that it would.

We finally decided to explore the surgical option and went with his suggestion that we visit the surgeon he recommended and, after writing a prescription for the fentanyl, he ordered a referral to set up a meeting with the neurosurgeon. We collected her MRI films, notes and in the interim we hope this new pain regimen will offer her some much needed relief. Though she's not at all excited about the prospect of surgery, she's wise enough to explore the options and see what this next physician has to say after checking her out and reviewing her films. In the meantime, prayers are welcome and greatly appreciated. We adore this wonderful woman and it's hard to see someone you love in chronic pain and feel helpless to alleviate it. We'll optimistically proceed to the next step and pray for wisdom, as sweet Karen suggested.

Celebrating Easter - A Tale of Two Cities

There are new photos up on the flickr site of this past weekend spent in Cary. It was great seeing Katie and John and his extended family. Katie and I tooled around Cary all day Saturday and then retreated to our hotels and got dressed up for a beautiful dinner Saturday Night, hosted by John's Aunt Daria at the delicious Bloomsbury Bistro in downtown Raleigh.

Sunday Morning I picked Katie up at the Umstead Inn and we headed over to Nina's home (John's mother) for a scrumptious brunch. Again, it was fun and is always interesting and spirited to visit with Nina, Daria, Bill, Melanie, Kathy, Mary Lou, Kim, Chenille, Mark, Katie G., Sue, and Marshall. As usual, Nina outdid herself and a fine time was had by all.

All too soon it was time for Katie and company to head to the airport and me to take on the Raleigh traffic. Katie arrived at Teterboro Airport in New Jersey at the same moment that I pulled into the Cracker Barrel in Wilmington, where Justin and Stephanie arrived with my parents for a very nice, warm Easter Dinner. What a treat - I was so thrilled to share Easter with my son and my daughter and family - even if it was in two different cities.

As I sat at the table late Sunday Afternoon, I surveyed the scene surrounding me at the restaurant, scanned the photos of the weekend visiting with Katie, and I felt incredibly grateful for all of these gifts of family and friends who make my life so rich and precious. My life is colored in shades more beautiful than the finest, most expensive Fabrege Egg. I love all the eggs in my basket, and just about every branch in my family tree. We may be a little cracked here and there, but I'm of the opinion that those tiny cracks and chips simply add character.

And this brood of mine is nothing if not a bunch of characters. As for me, I've got a lot of work to do - spring is here and I've got to find a nice, mentally stable, financially independent, even keeled man with an even keeled sailboat. (A rare find, I suspect!).

Confession: I'm pining for the water. I dream of sailing, voraciously consume books on others' adventures as I secretly conjure dreams and fantasies of my own. There's got to be a nice guy out there, right? Where do they hide? Katie suggested I hit the local marinas and just eye a boat and see if a single man comes with it. Might be good advice. I'll have to look into that.

Oh, If I had a boat. You wouldn't be reading this because I wouldn't be writing it - I'd be out on the ocean, wind in my hair, sun on face, clouds in my crosshairs - destination: adventure. If you've any time at all aboard a sailboat, you know that it wouldn't really matter where, it would simply be enough that you are there.

That's How The Cookie(s) Crumble(s), Will Ferrell and David Sedaris on Who Santa Claus REALLY Is...

Now, I'm sure you'll order a box of cookies from the "Band of Parents", as they devotedly raise funds for Dr. Cheung's promising new monoclonal antibody vaccine, because I'm sure everyone who reads this blog has a heart of gold, and most of you have kids, and can grasp how paramount it is that this vaccine comes into fruition. I know this because my readers are good, generous and loving folks (most of you, anyway), but in the spirit of the holidays I have another site to share and this one is for pure fun.

My lovely, blogging cousin, Shane, sent me an e-mail this morning and I had to laugh for two reasons: First of all, I couldn't imagine why she would send me anything that would involve baking or any sort of kitchen activity (other than painting). Let's face it, I'm not exactly Martha Stewart OR Betty Crocker. The second reason being that after perusing the list, I do believe it contains every conceivable cookie known to mankind and it looks so appealing that I may just have to try a couple of these out.

If you click on whatever cookie piques your interest and makes your mouth water, the recipe for that cookie will pop up! It's pretty amazing and way, way cool! Who took the time to compile this list, I have no idea, but he or she must be dripping in domesticity and probably owns several aprons - the ones that say something weird like, "Kiss the Cook!". I had to share the list with you.

I have a feeling people won't say I'm too skinny after this season of cookies and joy. I'll just have to double up on the caffeine and burn it off the best way I know how.

Click on the name of the cookie, the recipe will pop up and then head out for the store of your choice and gather the ingredients. Before you leave the house for the store, it might be a good idea to go ahead and pay for that gym membership you've been considering because I have a feeling none of these are fat-free and why should they be? It's Christmas and it's the time of year when you need to eat really gooey, rich, high-caloric confections so go for it, I say. Life is short.

So, that is how the cookie crumbles. I'm not in any way, shape or form responsible for what your bathroom scales report as a direct or indirect result of "experimenting" with this list. Don't write to me complaining about how your jeans are shrinking or how that little black dress needs to be let out just a skooch. It's not my problem and why don't you just forget about it until, say, January. January is much better suited for obsessing about things like weight and your expanding waistline. The days are dark and winter is already feeling like it will last forever so just delay your worries and fears as to how you're going to fit into your swimsuit until January. There's no time for that now. It's December, the holidays are fast upon us. It's the season of hope. Just "hope" you don't have too many pounds to shed in January and get on with your life.

Before you click on your favorite recipe, click on the video below and enjoy watching and listening to Will Ferrell and Zooey Deschanel sing, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" (from the movie "Elf") and then start printing those recipes!

If watching Will Ferrell sing "Baby, It's Cold Outside" doesn't get you in the holiday spirit, perhaps a holiday reading by David Sedaris will. Katie and I were talking about this yesterday and we both laughed hysterically (seriously!) at the vision conjured by this essay - it's a family favorite. That is, it's a "Parker" family favorite, so you know it's totally screwed up, but we love David Sedaris and his way with words. Enjoy! Christmas in the Netherlands. I promise, you will laugh. Oh and, for the record, Katie and I are certain that Santa is not the former Bishop of Turkey and we're positive he doesn't live in Spain. I don't know how such rumors get started and what is up with the Dutch?

Happy Holidays!

Susie

Just click on the name of the cookie and bam the recipe is there.

1-2-3 Cookies 7 Layer Cookies Allie Nelson's Famous Snickerdoodle Cookies Almond Crescent Shortbread Amish Sugar Cookies Andies Candies Cookies Angel Crisps Angenets Applesauce Cookies Apricot Fold-Overs Aunt Edy's Molasses Crinkles Auntie Linda's Ginger Gems Bakeless Dream Cookies Banana Drop Cookies Best Chocolate Chip Cookies in the World Biscotti Biscotti Blueberry Cookies Boiled Chocolate Oatmeal Drop Cookies < /B>Bronwnies Brown Sugar Shortbread Brownie Cookies Brownie Delight Brownies Buccaneer Snowballs Buried Cherry Cookies Butter Cookies Butter Nut Balls Butterballs Butterscotch Haystacks C.O.P. Cookies Candy Cane Cookies Candy Cookies Caramel Shortbread Cheesecake Brownies Cherry Buns Cherry Crowns Cherry Winks Chewies Chewy Noels Chinese Chews/Haystacks Chocolate Chip Cookie Bars Chocolate Chip Cookie s Chocolate Chip Meltaways Chocolate Chip Peanut Butter Cookies Chocolate Christmas Trees Chocolate Cream Cheese Squares Chocolate Crinkles Chocolate Mint Snow-Top Cookies Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies (no bake) Chocolate Snowball Cookies Chocolate Streusel Bars Chocolate Sundae Cookies Chocolate Walnut Crumb Bars Choco-Scotch Crunchies Choose A Cookie Dough Recipe Christmas Crackers Christmas Crunch Bars Christmas Ginger Snaps Christmas Macaroons Christmas Mice Cookies Christmas Shaped Cookies Church Window Cookies Coconut Cookies Congo Squares Cookie in a Jar< /FONT> Corn Flakes Cookies Cornflake Christmas Wreaths Cowboy Cookies (oatmeal) Cream Cheese Cookies with Apricot Filling Crème De Menthe Chocolate Squares Crème Wafers Crescent Cookies Crispy Crunchies Date Nut Balls Date-nut Pinwheel Cookies Diabetic Peanut Butter Cookies Disgustingly Rich Brownies Doodles Double chocolate chip cookies Double-Chocolate Crinkles Eatmore Cookies Eggnog Cookies Elizabeth's Sugar Cookies Elves Quick Fudge Brownies Emily Dickinson's Gingerbread Cookie Recipe Emily's Best Brownies Famous Oatmeal Cookies Firemen Cookies Fluffy Shortbread Cookies Forgotten Cookies Frosted Peanut Butter Brownies Fruit Cak e Cookies Fruitcake Squares Fry Pan Cookies Gems Ginger Cookies Ginger Crinkles Gingerbread Baby Gingerbread Cookies with Butter Cream Icing Gingerbread Men Gingerbread Men Ginny's Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Glory's Golden Graham Squares Glory's Sugar Cookies Gramma Chapman's chocolate coconut drops Grandma Elsie's Zimt (cinnamon) Cookies Grandma J's Butter Cookies Grandma Olson's Parkay Cookies Great Grandmothers Sugar Cookies Gum Drop Cookies Gumdrop Gems Haystack Cookies Ho-Ho Bars Holiday Cereal Snaps Holiday Chocolate Butter Cookies Holiday Raisin Walnut Bars Holly Cookies Hungarian Cookies (Little Nut Rolls) Ice Box Cookies Irresistible Peanut Butter Cookies Italian Cookies Jacob's Peppermint Snowballs Jam Bars Jessica's Famous Brownies Jessie's Chocolate Chip Cookies Jubilee Jumbles Juliet's Peanut Butter Blossoms Jumbo Chocolate Chip Cookies Kentucky Colonels Kiefle (cream cheese cookies with jam filling) Kifflings Kiss Cookies Lacy Swedish Almond Wafers Lemon Angel Bar Cookies Lemon Bars Lemon Cake Cookies Lemon Cream Cheese Cookies Lemon Squares Linzer Tarts Log Cabin Cookies Luscious Lemon Squares M&M Cookies Magic Cookie Bars Melt in Your Mouth Cutout Sugar Cookies Melting Shortbread Meme's Cream Cheese Cookies Milk Chocolate Florentine Cookies Mincemeat Cookies Mincemeat Goodies Molasses Cookies Molasses Forest Cookies Molasses Sugar Cookies Mom Mom's Crescent Cookies Mom-Mom's Ginger Cookies Mom's Nutmeg Sugar Cookies Mom's Old Fashion "Puffy" Sugar Cookies Monster Cookies Moravian Christmas Cookies Nana's Famous Soft Southern Cookies Nitey Nite Cookies No Bake Chocolate Cookies No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Cookies No Bake Peanut Butter Cookies No-Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies No-Bake Cookies Norwegian Sugar Cookies Nut Balls Oatmeal Bars Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Nut Cookies Oatmeal Coconut Crisps Oatmeal Cookies Oatmeal Scotchies Old Fashioned Sugar Cookies Ooey Gooey Caramel Chocolate Dunk Ooey Gooey Squares Orange Slice Cookies Parking Lot Cookies Peanut Blossoms Peanut Butter Bars Peanut Butter Blossoms Peanut Butter Cereal Cookies Peanut Butter Chewies Peanut Butter Chocolate Bars Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut Butter Cookies Peanut butter fingers Peanut Butter Reindeer Peanut Butter Surprises Peanut Marshmallow Cookies Pecan Puff Cookies Peppermint Snowballs Peppernuts Persimmon Cookies Persimmon Cookies Petey's Yummy Spicy Almond Thins Pfeffernuesse Pffefferneuse Cookies Pineapple Filled Cookies Pizzelles Potato Chip Cookies Potato Flake Cookies Praline Cookies Praline Strips Pterodactyl Nests Pumpkin Bars Pumpkin B ars Pumpkin Chip Cookies Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies Pumpkin Cookies Queen Biscuits Quick Cookies Raised Sugar Cookies Raisin Filled Oatmeal Bars Raspberry Meringue Bars Really Peanutty Butter Cookies Reese`s Brownies Reese's Peanut Butter Bars Rich Flavor Christmas Cookies Rich Lemon Bars Ricotta Cheese Cookies Royal Almond Christmas Bars Rudolph Cinnamon Cookies Russian Tea Cookies Russian Teacakes Samantha & Kelsey's Chocolate Chip Cookies Sand Art Brownies Santa Claus Cookie Pops Santa Claus Cookies Santa's Butterscotch Melts Santa's Shorts Santa's Special Squares Scotch Cakes Scotch Shortbread< /B> Scotcharoos Scotcheroos Seven Layer Cookies Short Bread Cookies Shortbread Skor Squares Snicker Doodle Cookies Snickerdoodles< /SPAN> Snickerdoodles Snow Balls Sour Cream Apple Squares Sour Cream Christmas Cookies Special K Cookies Spice Cookies Spicy Oatmeal Raisin Cookie Spritz Cookies Stained Glass Window Cookies Stir & Drop Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Sugar Cookies Swedish Pepparkakor (Pepper Cake) Cookies Swedish Sugar Cookies Sweet Marie's Swiss Treats Taralle (Italian Cookies) Tea Time Tassies Texas Brownies The Best Shortbread in The World Thumbprint Cookies Thumbprint Cookies Toffee Squares Traditional Christmas Sugar Cookies Traditional Gingerbread Men Cookies Triple-Chocolate Chip Cookies Ultimate Chocolate Chip Cookies Vanilla Waffer Balls Walnut Butter Cookies Walnut Crumb Bars White Chip Chocolate Cookies Wild Oatmeal Cookies Will's Famous Apple Jack Cookies Yummy Yummy Peanut Butter Blossoms